We all are enduring varying degrees of anxiety these days and our regular routines have been impacted by the COVID pause.
It is reasonable to assume that each of us, adult and child alike, have experienced some level of cumulative trauma over the past 5 months. We have been socially and physically isolated, scared of the pandemic touching our family, and we’ve been taken out of our routines and put under mounting life and work tensions. With this kind of emotional disruptive impact we all need grounding to keep a stability, balance and hope in our lives. That kind of emotional balance in my mind can be helped by the parent-child goodnight kiss.
The goodnight kiss carries a meaning that is much more than simply symbolic. It is an affirmation between parent and child that “we are connected” …and no matter what kind of day we may have had- the goodnight kiss is a commitment to our love and support of one another. It also bears with it a mindful promise that tomorrow brings us a new day with new starts and a promise of hope for the future.
I think this advice is good for every child, but especially so for children with autism or any special need. It is a tough job being a parent under the best of conditions and I realize that parenting a special needs child is very often even more difficult.
While the rewards of parenting are great, the realities of parenting show struggles (sometimes daily) for every parent. The goodnight kiss is a way in which we as parents can reconnect with our children no matter what the day or their behavior/attitude brought to us.
It is that physical-emotional bond that helps us reorient ourselves to seeing our child not as a bad boy or girl- but as a normal child who occasionally will act up, be vulnerable, show developmental resistance or just be frustrated with no other way to communicate that to us.
It is a reminder that this beautiful boy or girl is special in every sense of the word. My prescription is to increase hugs and kisses to all children (prn). They will feel better and we will feel great.
Kiss your children while they are sleeping- The goodnight kiss can be the perfect ending to a not so perfect day…and is always serves as an affirmation and commitment of our ongoing love even on those perfect days that we experience occasionally…
For more info on all of the child and family related services we provide for children, please go to www.askbhsc.org
Stay safe and Be well, joe cozzo
